Communication Via Text

There are millions of articles out there about how technology and social media are ruining the art of communication. Like every other 20-something, I disregarded those articles as something written by baby boomer reminiscing about the “old times before the internet and cell phones,” but recently, I’ve noticed that some of those articles may be right. I personally have social anxiety, so communication via text is a blessing, but its also a curse. I cannot communicate with someone unless its by text. I’ve gotten so comfortable with just texting, the thought of voice calls makes me uncomfortable. If i have to make an appointment with the doctor, I will put it off for weeks just to avoid making a phone call.

Face-to-face conversations make my skin crawl because I’m so used to communicating through social media, I don’t have to worry about body language and facial expressions. I tend to stutter and stumble over my words and most of the time I either lose my train of thought or I completely forget the correct words to put in a sentence. I tend misread social cue’s on when to laugh or smile, and sometimes I over-react with my body language (such as shaking my head no too fast or laughing too long). I’m so worried about making sure I’m doing the correct body language and reading the correct social cue’s that I don’t always hear what people are saying which can result in me doing incorrect body language because I’m just taking a guess at what they said (which can be quite embarrassing if I smile and nod when someone tells me their family member may be gravely ill…).

I rely on the pauses social media communication allows so i can read and think without having to worry about normal communication skills, but since I depend so much on being comfortable just communicating via text, I do not get out and practice communicating in the every day world.

It may be easier to talk to your friends through text message, but go out and have a drink while talking about your days. It will not only make you both feel better, but you will get closer being face-to-face. Take your mom to dinner, ask your sister to play a board game with you; anything is better than constantly relying on technology to communicate.

Now if only i could practice what I preach…

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Curiosity Can Also Kill A Human

Do you ever wonder what it would be like In those last moments of life? 

Is there pain?

Are you afraid? 

Does everything just go black,

Into nothingness 
Do we know what’s happening after it’s happened?

Will we start a new life and begin to forget our old one?

What happens when we die? 

I know we can’t come back from it 

Which is scary on its own.

Even though I’ve tried to end my life myself

I just want to know what Death is like

Because I’m curious
I just hope one life isn’t the end 

I hope we continue to go into another life

I know energy is not created nor destroyed 

So are we just borrowed energy? 

Do we decide where our energy goes, 

or is it random? 

Because I want another chance at life 

Maybe I should just forget about it

and just make the most of this life. 
What happens to the people’s energy we connect with? 

Do we never see it again? 

Is that energy what we consider our soul? 

Maybe we have energy mates 

Soul mates 

Because I’ve lost people in my life 

That I have considered my soul mates 

Family and friends
Can someone tell me,

What it’s like to die? 

Before curiosity takes my life? 

Same Story, Different Book

Sometimes you meet someone too early in your life and neither of you are ready for the destiny you hold together. We kept in contact because, in my soul, I knew he was going to be an important part of my life. When we met, we were young and fearless. Our time together showed us how painful losing a part of yourself can truly be. Every time something went wrong between us, a situation that caused us to separate, I felt a crack in my soul. Over time, the cracks have slowly healed, but the scars remain. We forgave each other for the pain we caused, but we are still cautious around one another. We know what we want, who we want, it’s just the fear that keeps us apart. Life is also a key factor. It’s seems like every time we feel like we are on the same page, we realize life has us in two different books. Our stories may have similar endings, or maybe we are only meant to motivate one another to keep going even though our endings are completely different. We won’t know until we get there. I will hold onto him, onto us, for as long as I can. I will make sure we end up together in one way or another, even if it’s only in a story. We deserve that much. We deserve a happy ending somewhere. 

Loved Back To Life

When I heard this part in the show I cried so hard. I died a long time ago, and since then I’ve been lost. I’ve always been a hopeless romantic. I say I don’t like the cheesy romantic things but in reality I do. It’s what let’s them know that flame hasn’t burnt out. And I’m hoping one day I can be loved back to life. I need to be. Every day my soul grows darker and my will to live disappears a little more. I know my mind is in its darkest place when I do not fear death anymore.

Memories

While you’re doing something, do you have a random memory of yourself from your past, a great one full of light and happiness, and realize the person in those memories isn’t here anymore? 

Because that person is me and she died years ago. I just feel like a shell who has to keep going on. Sometimes I think about ending it but the whole fear of death thing and everything disappearing stops me. Plus I don’t have the courage to do it. 

I don’t even think I have a soul, if they’re even real. I just go through the motions in my day to day life and hope that one day I’ll feel something again. 

That I’ll feel whole. 

That I’ll see that bright happy person again. 

Hope is what keeps me going.