In life I believe most people find that one true love. I know I did. But not everyone gets to spend their life with that person.
My relationship with my one true love was a series of unfortunate events you could say. I can’t even describe it all with words to put it into a sentence so I’ll just list what comes to mind.
Misery, excitement, passion, thrilling, lonely, challenging, comforting, pain, loss, love, mystery… It was like a romance novel, just without the happy ending.
We were in two completely different places in our lives. He wanted to commit but he was worried he was missing out on something else. I was always waiting to spend time with him but he just didn’t make an effort to. There were other things he was doing in his life and I wasn’t one of those that came first. I was just a second thought. Someone to talk to when he was bored and his friends were busy. He didn’t really care until I quit sitting around waiting for life to happen with him. I quit dropping everything just to spend time with him when he wanted to. I quit waiting to be used.
We were opposites. I was full of light and laughter and he was dark and mysterious. I was the beautiful girl with the smart mouth that he took as a challenge to tame.
He was my muse for many pieces of poetry and quite a few short stories. I’m actually working on a book inspired by Conviction. Even writing his name inspires me to put my feelings into a poem.
Everything ended almost 4 years ago…
I’ll probably write quite a bit about him because he is still my muse to this day even though we are living seperate lives now. A lot of my pain still comes from him and our memories. We still text from time to time to see how the other is doing or for some advice but that’s the only contact we still have. I consider him one of my closest friends but even then we are slowly drifting apart. Eventually we won’t talk anymore and I don’t know which breaks my heart more; being able to talk to him knowing we will never be together again or not talking to him and just wondering about him and how he is.