My Greatest Fear Discovered 

I had a panic attack last night. I was just laying in bed just on the edge of sleep and it happened. I realized I’m super scared of death. It happens to us all no matter who you are or what you do. One day we’re her and the next we aren’t. Our thoughts, dreams, and personality just disappear. And that’s it… You are gone forever. And that scares me. Death doesn’t care that I have a family, that I have t finished that fanfiction, hat I haven’t beat a few games I’ve played, that I haven’t watched all of the movies or shows I want to see, or that I have so many books I want to read. It doesn’t discriminate. It comes earlier to some more than others. And the worst part is that you have no idea how you’re going to die. I’ve had plenty of suicudal thoughts which is ironic. Being an Athiest is the scariest part. I know once I die there is no spirit or soul that goes somewhere great. I can’t be a guardian angel. I’m not in the clouds looking down on my loved ones. Once everything in my brain stops, that’s it. There’s nothing I can do about it. I guess when I go I won’t really think about this. I don’t know if I’ll be able to think at all. I wish I could be ignorant and believe that my soul will be here on earth, I just wouldn’t have a physical body. It makes me hope that there is reincarnation. I used to believe in it. Based on how we live our lives is how our next life is determined. I’ve found my greatest fear and it’s not a bug or animal. It’s the end of my thoughts, the end of my life. Death is something I cannot escape no matter how much I fight or how fast I run. Death will catch up. I just hope I have many years to go before that happens. 

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