Memories

While you’re doing something, do you have a random memory of yourself from your past, a great one full of light and happiness, and realize the person in those memories isn’t here anymore? 

Because that person is me and she died years ago. I just feel like a shell who has to keep going on. Sometimes I think about ending it but the whole fear of death thing and everything disappearing stops me. Plus I don’t have the courage to do it. 

I don’t even think I have a soul, if they’re even real. I just go through the motions in my day to day life and hope that one day I’ll feel something again. 

That I’ll feel whole. 

That I’ll see that bright happy person again. 

Hope is what keeps me going. 

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