Sometimes you meet someone too early in your life and neither of you are ready for the destiny you hold together. We kept in contact because, in my soul, I knew he was going to be an important part of my life. When we met, we were young and fearless. Our time together showed us how painful losing a part of yourself can truly be. Every time something went wrong between us, a situation that caused us to separate, I felt a crack in my soul. Over time, the cracks have slowly healed, but the scars remain. We forgave each other for the pain we caused, but we are still cautious around one another. We know what we want, who we want, it’s just the fear that keeps us apart. Life is also a key factor. It’s seems like every time we feel like we are on the same page, we realize life has us in two different books. Our stories may have similar endings, or maybe we are only meant to motivate one another to keep going even though our endings are completely different. We won’t know until we get there. I will hold onto him, onto us, for as long as I can. I will make sure we end up together in one way or another, even if it’s only in a story. We deserve that much. We deserve a happy ending somewhere.
When I heard this part in the show I cried so hard. I died a long time ago, and since then I’ve been lost. I’ve always been a hopeless romantic. I say I don’t like the cheesy romantic things but in reality I do. It’s what let’s them know that flame hasn’t burnt out. And I’m hoping one day I can be loved back to life. I need to be. Every day my soul grows darker and my will to live disappears a little more. I know my mind is in its darkest place when I do not fear death anymore.
While you’re doing something, do you have a random memory of yourself from your past, a great one full of light and happiness, and realize the person in those memories isn’t here anymore?
Because that person is me and she died years ago. I just feel like a shell who has to keep going on. Sometimes I think about ending it but the whole fear of death thing and everything disappearing stops me. Plus I don’t have the courage to do it.
I don’t even think I have a soul, if they’re even real. I just go through the motions in my day to day life and hope that one day I’ll feel something again.
That I’ll feel whole.
That I’ll see that bright happy person again.
Hope is what keeps me going.
Do you have that one person you text or want to text when things get bad?
Maybe they have been part of the bad in life but they’re the only one who understands.
I do. I swear I’ll never talk to them again and then something will remind me of them and I feel the need to say something. It’s someone I need to cut from my life but they’re apart of the live I used to have… the part of my life where I was carefree and lived each day without anxiety or stress.
They helped me find a part of me I didn’t know about. They showed me what love is.
Maybe next time I’ll quit messaging this person, but today I need them. I’m not sure in what way I need them but something inside of me I yelling at me to talk to them.
Will they message me back or ignore me like I’ve done to them in the past?
Will I feel emotions I haven’t felt in two years?
Will you remember me? Will you remember what we had?
Will it help with healing or will it ruin the progress I’ve made?
Will you sill be my dark angel?
My masked lover.